it's been a while...
half a year maybe? I've been a lot busy with school since January, and as soon as i realized, i've already graduated from college and went out from our country to land on a job abroad. it's not very far though, just a three hour plane from the city where i used to stay for the university.

it's been a while...
right after my graduation, with just a month for a vacation, been busy again for the work coming ahead and before i know it, it's almost 4 months that i'm staying overseas for this job.

with this, i managed to get some distance from the environment that i used to have, and every little detail, person, activity and lifestyle that goes with it.

distance that somehow made me realize things. maybe this is what they call the other perspective? the over way on looking into things.

this distance, brought about by physical and time gap offered me a wider and clearer view of the things i thought so bad and negative before.

just this afternoon, while i was aimlessly staring on my desktop screen and doing my kind of job, my mind was somewhere else. the thought of me getting this rare opportunity to have this job, or even being able to finish my university education, it wouldn't be possible if not because of my uncle's efforts to send me to school.

back when i was still studying, he gave me a lot of restrictions, pressure, and hard work. that is how i saw things back then.

restrictions
i cannot stay out late at night
i cannot sleepover to a friend's house
i cannot take a part time job
i cannot date
i cannot go home (hometown) often because of monetary difficulties
i cannot drink
i cannot go out with friend's party
etcetera etcetera...

pressure
i should not fail any subject
no grade below this and that

hard work
because i stayed with my uncle's house for free and he sent me to school on his own accord, i obliged myself to help with the household chores. i am not told to, but i guess it's just from our culture and out of returning the favor. i knew it's nothing compared to what they have done to help me in my studies. yeah, i knew that already even when i was still with them when i was studying.

i considered myself as an outsider, especially during my earlier years with them. later on i realized that they love me as their own. but that was until lately, where i have matured and realized how blessed i am to have them for me.

i thought he was just some kind of sadist who doesn't want for me to have fun. of course now, i realized he is not, not even a bit of it. he was actually a caring and selfless person. generous enough to give a hand to those who need it, even those he knew just a little.i regret for thinking that way about him.

if not for those restrictions, pressure and hard work, i would not be who i am now, i would not be here where i am now. i know i owe him everything that i have now. selfless that he is, he even would not care of what other people might think of him when he's trying to point things which he deem is the right thing.

i feel terrible for myself for thinking things the way i used to be. i couldn't thank him more for all the guidance, help and love he has given me.

he is a wonderful person, and i might have never have realized that without having this distance.

distance provided me this perspective,

but i really miss home.